And now for an IMPORTANT topic: television theme songs

So I've been having a discussion in a social media forum (mumbleFacebookmumble) about the best television theme songs.  There are many terrific nominees.  As a rule, I feel strongly that the best themes came from the 60's, 70's and 80's.  For starters, there are the golden greats.  If you don't know all the words to Sesame Street, The Brady Bunch  The Addams Family, or Gilligan's Island theme songs, don't even bother reading the rest of this post, because you need to go to remedial theme song school.

Although some loved Bonanza, I wasn't fond of TV westerns.  Great tune, though, I have to admit.  I was always a big fan of St. Elsewhere (which featured or launched the careers of some damn serious stars, like Mark Harmon, Denzel Washington and Howie Mandel).   In the same time period, I think the best theme of its time was Hill Street Blues (Let's be careful out there!).    There was the timeless "Suicide is Painless" from M*A*S*H, the classic "Those Were the Days" from All in the Family, and the perfectly funky Sanford and Son,  Laverne & Shirley had the advantage of coming with its own dance steps. You need a buddy with you to do it right.  I still say "Happy Days (which came first, of course) had a better theme. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.  We have the technology for Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man.  I loved the symphonic majesty of Battlestar Galactica, and the infectious syncopation of Law & Order.  Across the pond, the British gave us Monty Python, Benny Hill and the great Dr. Who, which along with The Twilight Zone might be the trippiest theme song ever.

Then there's the pantheon.   The ridiculously talented John Sebastian (of the Lovin' Spoonful) wrote and recorded Welcome Back Kotter's "Welcome Back".   Jose Feliciano did Chico and the Man.  Oscar winner Elmer Bernstein is responsible for perhaps the best earworm of them all, the theme for National Geographic.  Star Trek is the only show in television history to have not one but two outstanding themes.  Alexander Courage wrote the original (no, William Shatner didn't write it), but the reworking for the movie, then The Next Generation might have been even better.  Although they're technically not "lyrics" per se, everyone of a certain age knows the words to ABC's legendary Wide World of Sports, because Jim McKay's voice, starting with "Spanning the globe, to bring you the constant variety of sports." was as familiar as Walter Cronkite saying "and that's the way it is". W.G. Snuffy Walden wrote themes for both Thirtysomething in the 80's and The West Wing.in the 90's. (Quick quiz: what actor appeared regularly in *both* series?  Answer: Timothy Busfield, who played Elliot Weston on thirtysomething, then Danny Concannon on The West Wing) The melodies of The Simpsons and Batman, once wedged in your brain, like National Geographic, don't leave.  Everybody knows your name at Cheers.  The theme song that absolutely, positively MUST put you in a good mood was from perhaps the funniest sitcom of them all: "Soap".  After all, it gave us Billy Crystal. And if that doesn't do it, there's SpongeBob Square Pants.  The simplest, shortest, and most elegant theme that you might never have heard is "Abblasen", a trumpet fanfare heard each week at 9am on CBS Sunday Morning.

Then we come to the medalists, and they're all from the golden era of television themes, the 1960's, 70's and 80's.
Fifth place:Henry Mancini is the man behind the Peter Gunn Theme
Fourth place.  The best sports theme ever written requires air drums.  Everyone give it up for the classic from Monday Night Football.  Forty years on and still the best.
Third place: "Light the fuse", Lalo Shiffrin's Mission: Impossible.
Second place: Ken Burns' The Civil War, which I think is the greatest piece of television programming ever produced, gave us the haunting, perfectly textured "Ashokan Farewell" from Jay Ungar.
The best television theme song of all time:  Book 'em, Dano.  The Ventures' Hawaii Five O.

Feel free to argue, but you know I'm right.