Happy anniversary

In just a couple weeks my parents will celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Fifty years. How many couples do you know who stay together that long, and are even more in love at 50 years than they were at the beginning? They are. For me, it’s always been a mere fact of life that my parents are together and more stable than any couple I know.

Let’s start with the simple reality that they’re both still here, still working, and still regularly in touch with all six children, 13 grandchildren and one great grandchild. The way I always explain my family to people is to say it’s exactly like the Brady Bunch, except if they had a kid with each other, I’d be that child. I’m a combination of the two of them, and at the same time if I'm going to be brutally honest, I really can’t hold a candle to either of them. My father came from Depression-era Philadelphia and worked his way through the University of Pennsylvania and Harvard Medical School to become a top notch surgeon. Even after doing that (and raising a family), he decided to shift gears, and he changed his specialty from general surgery to oncology. He specialized in cancer at a time when people weren’t doing that, not yet at least.

 My mom had been my father’s secretary, until she decided in her 40’s that she regretted not finishing her college education. So what did she do? She went back to school and finished her undergraduate degree. Then, she went and earned a master’s degree. Finally, she earned a doctorate. By then, she had become an accomplished psychotherapist. That’s right, both my parents are doctors. They’ve each battled health issues, but they’re both amazingly healthy. If you think I write well, thank my dad. If you think I’m good at getting to the heart of an issue, thank my mom. My inability to get math concepts and my love of creating meals by feel instead of directly from recipes? That’s mom. My love of baseball, sailing, history and politics? Dad. Dad plans things out and really enjoys strawberry rhubarb pie. So do I. Mom is frighteningly intuitive and sees right through people. Ok, so I didn’t inherit everything.

What they've both demonstrated to the world, and what I dearly hope people learn from their partnership, is that a marriage is a constant work in progress. It takes commitment, flexibility, and a shared vision for what's important. Their loyalty to their kids and grandchildren has sometimes meant biting their tongues, because they knew that whatever we did, we needed to do it on our own. The six children couldn't be more different in the paths our lives have taken (and to a degree, how we approach our worlds), but all of us share certain facts that are directly due to mom and dad. All of us attended college, all of us value the importance of family, and all of us understand we wouldn't be where we are without them. My parents are my heroes, and always will be.

Happy anniversary, mom and dad. I love you!